Imagine you're in a cell in backwoods Kentucky. The centuries-old stench of Moonshine and Southern Pride burning in your nostrils. This is not the urban areas of Louisville anymore. Oh no. This is Owensboro, known by all locals as "The Dirty Boro". It is here that you have found yourself. Alone. With no companions save the child you carry within your womb.
How did this happen? How did a new mother find herself in a jail cell? Surely they would have taken mercy on her. It was only a few drinks you had, but they had labeled you as "intoxicated" in "public". Was it? Or was it some misplaced sense of sexism? No, you remember through the stupor of the hangover what had happened...
You were manhandled into the cell, being asked to change into your prisoner's garments. A lesson in humility. Sadly you comply, looking around at your guards, hoping to find some semblance of compassion. Like water in an arid desert, you will find none.
But as a lightening bolt cuts through the gloom of a thunderstorm, an idea penetrates your brain. As you shed your accouterments, you notice your breasts, full as supersoakers with nature's milk. You look at the guard, back to your breasts, and then smile.
AND THEN YOU DOUCHE THE SHIT OUT OF THEW GUARD WITH BREAST MILK.
You don't escape though... cuz.. c'mon. Really?
Guard- 0
Based on a true story. Google that shit.
Chicken
Fried Comedy © 2009
